I have Dave on my arm now, I have a great memorial banner (3 rows) and his portrait on my left arm. The coroner's office re-opened his case and has determined that his death was an accident, the cause, accidental manual strangulation as a result of auto-erotic asphixiation. So now I don't like I am so much the blame, although I still feel like he would be alive, maybe, I just don't know. So here here I wait, I'll just stay until my Maker calls me home, home to Dave and a love and life together that will last forever. I know he waits for me. And his memorial website is up, its just one page for now, but when this semester ends for me, I'll put a lot more time into it. I hope to hear from his family, so they can add their words and images to the site.

When two people are in love with each other and with the spoon, nothing comes out right.
Not a day goes by that I don't long for this life to end so that I can rejoin my love, where ever he is.
Dave Draiman (my Dave is David Alan Jaeger) says it all with Inside the Fire. I will go where ever he is,
the sooner the better. But I can't just kill myself, God has seen fit to give me a child that ties me to this world.
A child that tests my patience, my sanity (what little there is) and ability to contain the anger and violence inside me
on a daily basis. Like Scott Weiland says, "The roller coaster ride's a lonely one" Music keeps me sane, that and 40mg of Percocet a day. I am blessed with a compressed disc in my spine, which I treasure. Dirt, yes, that's a great song, Layne had such a way with words, he is fortunate, he has already rejoined his love. Soon, please, let it be soon.